Flyboys (2006)

Plot:  Young naïve Americans join the Lafayette Escadrille to become the first fighter pilots of World War I… no more is necessary (or deserved). 

Review:  I can’t say I have an inkling as to why this film showed up on my doorstep.  I know I put it in my queue for some reason, but it took so long to reach the top, I had all but forgotten why.  Regardless, I thought it would be alright if I turned it on and simply let it waft over me if it turned out totally mindless…well, I now believe there are reasons why movies won’t play right away, as this one proceeded with error, and yet I still tried to get it working; why would I do such a thing when obviously God was trying to save my soul.

This film can be summed up as “Wannabe World War One Top Gun Sans Beach Fun”, except not even that good.  We proceed through the “story” (wayyyy to long at approximately 140 minutes) watching every cliché character walk around, look up, learn to fly, fly, awkwardly fall in love, awkwardly talk, make goofy gestures while flying, and battle in putrid CGI-scapes, all the while making me moan and grown so loud Jean Reno heard me and called to apologize for my inconvenience (Reno plays the French Commander, the “almost” saving grace of the film).

Academy Award Winning Director Tony Bill (?!?!) gives off the impression of infallible respect for the people and events this story revolves around, just not for the story itself.  Maybe the script was poisonous from the beginning, but surely Mr. Bill could’ve used his Oscar skills and detected imbecilic acting coming from every actor on set, including our star James Franco (just recently nominated for 127 Hours…saying he made great strides in his acting ability is an understatement) and the John Belushi look-alike (maybe my favorite character?).  At least the lion was alright…

Terrible video game graphics, utterly horrid acting, stale and suicide-inducing dialogue…being overly dramatic here, but seriously, this is all wrong.  If it had premiered on TBS, I might appreciate it more (psh, at all) as it definitely had that quality going with it.  Everything supports it, what with ridiculous decisions made by characters, or ludicrous subplot tangents leading to jokes that fall flat, just like the Black Falcon (STUPID MOVIE SPOILER ALERT: SMSA) the villain who finally gets his comeuppance after being mentioned throughout the movie in scenes where we already knew who the characters were talking about, but they mention his name anyway…sigh. 

In fact, this movie will get a slightly passing grade from me; everything I’ve mentioned can lead to depression, but can also lead to moments of unintentional laughter throughout; either way, please consult a doctor before viewing.