In the year of Marty McFly, Edward was… BORN.
'Nuff said, because as is generally known, this process happens to everyone (sans pod people/robots/machines/Edward Scissorhands). However, he was slightly more zealous than most of you, arriving on the scene a whole two months early.
Ed now attributes this happenstance to movie titles being spoken of outside his mommy, such as Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Amadeus, and Supergirl. Excited about all (except the really bothersome one) and stressed that he would miss seeing Calvin Klein’s mom, Ed burst out, prepped to begin his love affair with film.
Milestones are abound in this man’s life, reflected in the films he appreciated the most at respective times: his natural yearning in youth for extraordinary adventure and living equal to Back to the Future, his brief romance with Bruckheimer through wannabe-cool adolescence in Armageddon (dark time in Ed’s life; this would be your favorite film too if you just lost the Walla Walla 3 on 3 Peach Basket Classic!), and up to the quasi-current stage with extravagant suit up skills and the desire for verisimilitude, grandiosity and urban mise en scène with Michael Mann’s Heat.
Even though he is a scientist by day, Edward Wayne Felt is much, much, much, much……pretty much, more.
Ed’s likes: Running, frolicking, feeding strawberries to others, traveling, Alt Nation, Alredo’s chicken wings, Mom’s Chicken wings, Ginger Ale, nice shoes, establishments with views, karaoke, Criterion, business speak, serum neutralization, Jake’s hair, listening to Joe talk about himself.
Ed’s Favorite Films: Heat, Blade Runner, Lawrence of Arabia, Apocalypse Now, The Insider, Chungking Express, The Third Man, The Passion of Joan of Arc, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Strange Brew, In Bruges, Aguirre The Wrath of God, Heaven, The Fall, The Game
Ed’s Drinks: Mojitos, Mirror Pond Pale Ale, Pendleton’s Whiskey, and (good) Bordeaux
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Jake was born at an early age.
Of course there are conflicting reports on the manner, but suffice it to say the nurses had never met badass incarnate before and didn’t really know what to make of him as an infant. But this biographer digresses ...
He then proceeded to start from humble beginnings by choosing to grow up on a farm, yup a farm. Cows, hay, acts of rugged manliness ... the whole deal.
It is at this monastery of manliness far miles from civilization that he honed his skills as both a master wordsmith and an all around good guy (depending on who you talk to) competent with both a sharpened razor wit and a hackneyed joke when necessary. The latter of which has gotten him some acclaim and disdain in certain circles.
Living in this relative seclusion, a rural "Fortress of Solitude" if you will, he learned to embrace the wonderful escapism of film in a loving relationship that dates back to the first time he ever saw Return of the Jedi on TV at the mere age of six. He has never looked back, he has had no reason to do so. And why would he?
When Jake isn't engaged in the Jedi trials under the tutelage of Master Yoda he can be found doing about four things; eating, sleeping and watching movies.
Wait that was just three ... Oh yeah! Jake wants you to say "Hi" to your mother for him.
Jake's Likes: Pizza, cheap booze, classic rock, vinyl, Blu-rays, dashboard drumming, Adam West, Mountain Dew, Nicolas Cage's hair, his hair, The Sugarhill Gang, William Powell, Guitar Hero, photoshopping his face where it doesn't belong, chewing bubblegum and kicking ass ... and he's all out of bubblegum!
Jake's Favorite Films: Yojimbo, The Magnificent Seven, Star Wars IV: A New Hope, The Thin Man, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Kingdom of Heaven, A Fistful of Dollars, From Russia With Love, High and Low, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Mean Streets and 3 Men and a Baby
Jake's Booze of Choice: Cheap Whiskey (He's just classy like that)
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Brevity is the soul of wit and an unguarded tongue dissipates the soul.
Joe started out life by taking a thirteen month vow of silence. Involuntary? Maybe. Crucial to the develop of the man? Affirmative.
Joseph was once considered for the Nobel Prize in Literature, but did not progress further as a top candidate. “Better luck next year,” they said. So in typical style, Joe sent out an immediate reply via carrier pigeon. They responded back saying his vulgar vocabulary and use of ethnic slurs were actually quite impressive for a 5th grader. It was the last he would ever hear from the selection committee.
Contrary to unpopular opinion, Joe did not start drinking whiskey at age 12 because of writers block and/or an incapacity to tolerate the cruel nature of life. He started at age 14 because whiskey is super good.
College was spent at Washington State University where he fell in love with Ultimate Frisbee and beer. He holds Palouse records for disc chugging, Das Boot chugging, and separate, but some say equal, records of ranch and syrup chugging at Denny’s.
Biscuits and sausage gravy are his religion of choice.
He has proven the statement that for every hot girl there is a guy who is bored with her.
Finally, it’s his wish that you imagine him with his fist defiantly in the air while Natalie Portman narrates, “Legalize it!”
Joe's Likes: NBA, Jalapeno Cheesy Bread, Good music from the 60s and 70s, Grateful Dead, Turntables and original Vinyl, the word "Vynil", listening to people talk about themselves, Lamebook.com, Bananas, Walking or Hiking - if I feel like hiking.
Joe's Favorite Films: Top Gun, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Ice Harvest, The Fall, Days of Heaven, Rushmore, I Heart Huccabees, Black Swan, Revolutionary Road and The King's Speech
Joe’s Booze of Choice: Whatever the hell you are drinking right now. Give it to him, before he takes it by force.
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