Little Fockers (2010)

Directed By: Who the fuck cares (Paul Weitz)

Cast: Ben Stiller, Robert Deniro, Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Alba

Gay Focker passes this up?

Plot: (nota bene: this may or may not be accurate, I'll get to that later) Gaylord Focker is now a super rich wet nurse who has two children. One is smart. One is not. His wife no longer rides his johnson and he feels like boning Alba. Then Doctor Bob (from the first movie) cheats on his wife (broken nose water-volleyball girl) and subsequently gets kicked out of the circle of trust. Bobby D needs a new patriarch o' the familia. Focker is chosen as a possible replacement, but he sucks too much - so Bobby D starts working on a formula to become immortal.

Review: It was terrible. Stiller has trust, loses trust, wins trust.

Why was this movie ever made? The reason is simple. Because they had the technology, they could rebuild him - make him better. None of what I just said happened though!

Instead, I think Hollywood actually gave us a masterpiece of nuetrality. The movie is so unwatchable, so bland, so garden variety bullshit, that it is genius. Here is what you do: next time you're with a girl you like, invite her over for a movie. Instead of putting in something good, that she probably won't like because most girls suck at stuff like that, put this movie on. She'll love the fact there is no thinking involved and you can focus on how to make the first move (while still following the plot, thereby keeping her out of the loop that you've been planning the perfect time to press lips with her - GENIUS!).

So in short, this movie is not a waste of time. It is a public service for awkward first dates with intimate implications. No trailer. If you want to see the trailer - go jump off a cliff - it's at the bottom.